Where Do I Go From Here?
...theres a few more suitcases in my hall...so where am I going to?
Ok. So I feel that I have really moved on as an artist since I came to this country, I will be leaving in a few monthes, so where am I going? (Artistically speaking) I mean the broad answer to that is that of course I don't know. But I do have a few ideas.
After my latest project working with my partner I definately want to continue the partnership artistically and see where we go. Given that both of us have something of an interest in magic I think it would be appropriate to see in what ways our magic can inform and be a part of our art and visa-versa.
However I do want to continue my personal practice outside of that partnership. I see this as continueing in two slightly separate veins. My foxy-muse is definately an inspiration as far as straight painting goes (yes I may not exhibit it much but I am still painting portraits fairly straightforwardly!) I am also painting other people but there is definate inspiration tht occurs when face to face with him. I also have a promise from him and his girlfriend that they will pose for me so I'm thinking of a series of paintings, possibly looking at my Rapunzel ideas that I got on the Jung course I went on. There is a certain sexuality inherent within those ideas.
I do feel certainly freer about my artwork now I've done all those installations. And the sexuality is there, ready to jump in, pretty much.
Now the second vein is more obviously sexual, but inspired by the fertility festivals, temples and shrines I've been to in Japan I want to imbue it with the spirituality I feel when concerned with subjects sexual. In other words I am going back to my vaginas, but there was always something missing when I went there in the past. I feel that that was the spiritual element. I am also going to confront the penis head on, as I have an offer to do a couple of castings from a friend. I have some ideas as to where that will go. I definately want these to be more sculptural than the story-telling with my muse. I would also like to combine the vaginal and penal elements, though possibly not in the obvious way.
I am confident when I think of my artwork, I think I almost feel ready to begin calling myself an artist...almost.
Artist Mish?
Journals16
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About Muses
3 min read
I don't seem to be able to create entirely on my own. That's not totally true actually I need to have a small room with BBC Radio Four blaring and nobody entering for a few hours, but in order to persuade me to get into that room in the first place I need to know somebody is watching. It can't just be anybody either.
You'd think that family or partner support would be great, and it is. The fact that my parents give me parts of their garden as canvases (and even look at when I've put their latest up online) is great. But it's not enough, or rather it's not what lets me creep into that room and persuades me that it's alright for me to write down the things that are in my head. Writing is both the way I create that I love the most and also the one that is first to go when I'm not feeling altogether right in myself. It's the thing I guilt over. How dare I sit down and write when the house isn't tidy (it's never tidy), when I haven't done this, that or the other...How dare I write, or paint or create when it's a selfish act?
It's always been a selfish act. It always has to be for me. I make things be examining and re-examining and thinking about things in an incredibly selfish way. It has to work for me. I was accused, the other day of incorporating lesbian poetry in the latest thing I did for my parents as some sort of way of forcing them to acknowledge my sexuality - nope it's just that the Sappho line I used worked well with the images and it didn't occur to me to second guess myself.
That's the mood I need to be in, not second guessing myself, just writing, just making and not worrying what my partner, what my parents, what whoever is going to read this is going to think.
So surely I could create for complete strangers? Not really, they might not be looking. I need to know someone's looking. I need to be interested in them or what's the point of them being my audience? I need to want them to look, and I need to know that they like what they see. Which is not to say I don't want them to be critical - that's another reason that partner's tend to fall short as muses, that I no longer believe in their critical distance.
I tend towards male Muses as well, which I find interesting as a female Artist. I've been inspired by both men and women but the muses that really cause me to enter that room and not want to come out until I've got something to show them are men. I don't know why that is. Pop psychology goes disturbingly Freudian on me at that point. I'm going to get Pop feminist on it's ass - I like the way they look back. Male gaze ftw? I like the way that they aren't used to being looked at and the difference causes enough friction for me to believe for long enough that I can create something that makes it worth going into that room.
I have a new one anyway. My writing, as a result, has gone slightly odd.
You'd think that family or partner support would be great, and it is. The fact that my parents give me parts of their garden as canvases (and even look at when I've put their latest up online) is great. But it's not enough, or rather it's not what lets me creep into that room and persuades me that it's alright for me to write down the things that are in my head. Writing is both the way I create that I love the most and also the one that is first to go when I'm not feeling altogether right in myself. It's the thing I guilt over. How dare I sit down and write when the house isn't tidy (it's never tidy), when I haven't done this, that or the other...How dare I write, or paint or create when it's a selfish act?
It's always been a selfish act. It always has to be for me. I make things be examining and re-examining and thinking about things in an incredibly selfish way. It has to work for me. I was accused, the other day of incorporating lesbian poetry in the latest thing I did for my parents as some sort of way of forcing them to acknowledge my sexuality - nope it's just that the Sappho line I used worked well with the images and it didn't occur to me to second guess myself.
That's the mood I need to be in, not second guessing myself, just writing, just making and not worrying what my partner, what my parents, what whoever is going to read this is going to think.
So surely I could create for complete strangers? Not really, they might not be looking. I need to know someone's looking. I need to be interested in them or what's the point of them being my audience? I need to want them to look, and I need to know that they like what they see. Which is not to say I don't want them to be critical - that's another reason that partner's tend to fall short as muses, that I no longer believe in their critical distance.
I tend towards male Muses as well, which I find interesting as a female Artist. I've been inspired by both men and women but the muses that really cause me to enter that room and not want to come out until I've got something to show them are men. I don't know why that is. Pop psychology goes disturbingly Freudian on me at that point. I'm going to get Pop feminist on it's ass - I like the way they look back. Male gaze ftw? I like the way that they aren't used to being looked at and the difference causes enough friction for me to believe for long enough that I can create something that makes it worth going into that room.
I have a new one anyway. My writing, as a result, has gone slightly odd.
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Explicit Art vs Pornography
3 min read
I admit that I am not the greatest artist in the world. My concepts do not always get translated into the real world exactly how they appear in my head. I wish they did.
However, I am genuine and passionate in my creation of what I percieve to be art. Sometimes there are political notions behind the art, sometimes it's just for fun. Sometimes I even push up against that notion of 'decency' or 'pornography'.
I was raised a naturist, I was raised to see the human body as being beautiful in all it's many and varied, non-airbrushed forms. When I went to university I first came across Eve Ensler (not an uncommon occurence) and her idea that female genitalia need to be out and proud. That their being hidden away excuses a sense of shame, later I read Talking Cock, Richard Herring's answer book. His notion being that men don't think seriously and in an adult (I do not mean sexual) context about their own genitalia. Both made serious points in a funny way. At the time both received a certain amount of respect, but that was over ten years ago now.
Now there is a rise of conservatism and prudery when it comes to nudity and genitalia. Because everything in this society is sexualised it is impossible that the genitalia be viewed as simple parts of the human body to be discovered, explored and to lack shame about. I wish that my ability were better so that on the odd occaision when I do place explicit art up here I could better defend it as art. But I find it oddly troubling that the people who report my more explicit art as being inappropriate always seem to be short-term male members of DA with a real axe to grind about explicit pictures.
How much is it really that they have judged the pictures as art or have they simply decided that all genitalia is sexual and unaesthetic? How much is this a knee-jerk reaction that society seems to be imbibing all people with? I really am quite concerned about a society that has sexualised everything - yes, yes genitalia are inherantly sexual in part of their function. But unless you subscribe to Michel Odent's libido theory of childbirth that is not all there is. By all means pornography has no place here (I have no objection to pornography) but I do not believe that pictures, photographs of the genitals outside of sexual arrousal and activity constitute pornography.
Am I just angry and looking for a reason to call those who reported me misogynistic jerks or is there a genuine point here? How much is this journal entry simply about me being miffed that some of my artwork was not seen as such?
However, I am genuine and passionate in my creation of what I percieve to be art. Sometimes there are political notions behind the art, sometimes it's just for fun. Sometimes I even push up against that notion of 'decency' or 'pornography'.
I was raised a naturist, I was raised to see the human body as being beautiful in all it's many and varied, non-airbrushed forms. When I went to university I first came across Eve Ensler (not an uncommon occurence) and her idea that female genitalia need to be out and proud. That their being hidden away excuses a sense of shame, later I read Talking Cock, Richard Herring's answer book. His notion being that men don't think seriously and in an adult (I do not mean sexual) context about their own genitalia. Both made serious points in a funny way. At the time both received a certain amount of respect, but that was over ten years ago now.
Now there is a rise of conservatism and prudery when it comes to nudity and genitalia. Because everything in this society is sexualised it is impossible that the genitalia be viewed as simple parts of the human body to be discovered, explored and to lack shame about. I wish that my ability were better so that on the odd occaision when I do place explicit art up here I could better defend it as art. But I find it oddly troubling that the people who report my more explicit art as being inappropriate always seem to be short-term male members of DA with a real axe to grind about explicit pictures.
How much is it really that they have judged the pictures as art or have they simply decided that all genitalia is sexual and unaesthetic? How much is this a knee-jerk reaction that society seems to be imbibing all people with? I really am quite concerned about a society that has sexualised everything - yes, yes genitalia are inherantly sexual in part of their function. But unless you subscribe to Michel Odent's libido theory of childbirth that is not all there is. By all means pornography has no place here (I have no objection to pornography) but I do not believe that pictures, photographs of the genitals outside of sexual arrousal and activity constitute pornography.
Am I just angry and looking for a reason to call those who reported me misogynistic jerks or is there a genuine point here? How much is this journal entry simply about me being miffed that some of my artwork was not seen as such?
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I'm Back!
1 min read
Not that I've ever really been away from creating art but I have slipped up on the whole deviantart business. Haven't had another gallery show since 2006 and have mainly been in a bit of an emotional wilderness. On the otherhand I have a house, a solid relationship or two and I'm ready to go as twere.
Expect regular updates on my latest installation work and with any luck some written work may appear here and I have ideas for some audio stuff in the future. I'm exploring my media and hopefully growing as a commercial artist rather than a gallery artist. (Though if you want to show me I won't say no!)
There are a lot more paintings and traditional art mediums in my future and in the past five years, they're going to get uploaded as well, I work mainly in acrylics as oils are too slow! But never fear the installations are still a big part of what I do.
Right...let's get to business!
Expect regular updates on my latest installation work and with any luck some written work may appear here and I have ideas for some audio stuff in the future. I'm exploring my media and hopefully growing as a commercial artist rather than a gallery artist. (Though if you want to show me I won't say no!)
There are a lot more paintings and traditional art mediums in my future and in the past five years, they're going to get uploaded as well, I work mainly in acrylics as oils are too slow! But never fear the installations are still a big part of what I do.
Right...let's get to business!
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Next Move
3 min read
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NowHere/NoWhere
2 min read
Wow. This last exhibition has been a total rollercoaster. There were times when I really thought I wouldn't be finished in time to get anything into the gallery, there were other times when I thought that what I would have finished would be such complete rubbish I'd have to hide my face in shame.
This has been the first collaboration I've done really and I'm well up for doing more with the same artist.
Reading, my current piece is a definite moving on piece for me, there is a sexuality to my pieces which has usually been kept somewhat in the background (even of my Vagina pieces) and I think it wans to leap forward into the foreground now. I have plans to move back to the UK and take some casts of genitalia which may be construed as a move backwards for me but in actual fact I think they will be a move forward as I feel I've got a real grasp of something artistically important to me.
In anycase this is my final exhibition in Japan which is sad but at least I'm ending on a high note.
This has been the first collaboration I've done really and I'm well up for doing more with the same artist.
Reading, my current piece is a definite moving on piece for me, there is a sexuality to my pieces which has usually been kept somewhat in the background (even of my Vagina pieces) and I think it wans to leap forward into the foreground now. I have plans to move back to the UK and take some casts of genitalia which may be construed as a move backwards for me but in actual fact I think they will be a move forward as I feel I've got a real grasp of something artistically important to me.
In anycase this is my final exhibition in Japan which is sad but at least I'm ending on a high note.
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